Monday, July 12, 2004

Krinkle-less Kotex and Cool Capsules?

What is this puny little world coming to? I ask you, please. It was enough to see a Mary Kay VW Bug being towed behind a Winnebago the other day (tho' at first glance, before the horror hit me, the thought actually passed my cranium guard bees that, ya know...maybe I could do that. Maybe I *could* handle driving an absurd monument to American Conspicuous Consumption such as Mary Kay Mobiles of 'n all, if....if...IF it were a new VW Bug, but I digress).

But, to actually market a QUIETER feminine product? Sheesh. Just point me to the nearest menstrual hut and I will wait out the whole messy thing if it is really *that* upsetting to listen to *that* sort of a WOMENS ROOM!

Or maybe it is for all the husbands who shrink under the covers at night listening to their Lovies brush their little toofies and then go potty....and then, ew...that noise. Oh, I know that *that* means. It is "Krinkly Wrapper Noise in the Bathroom" time.

Really now. Let's just grow up a bit here. Yes, your teachers, those nuns (remember them???). They went poopie, too. Big Suprise!

And why, oh why, do we need Cooling Sensation Capsules for our NSAID's? Would it be onaccounta you are too stupid to actually DRINK the full glass of water it takes to buffer those babies down the gullet? Or is it that the beer you chased it with is causing a Mylanta Moment you would rather forget?

God forbid you should Get Your Visitor and Need Tylenol for Cramps at the same time without either of those products. If you suspect that happening to you, stop your flow immediately. You must not go any further without a trip to the pharmacy. Oh, and bring your Extra Care Card so you can get the double coupons if you only buy six of each.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ha ha--- I'm going to go into the ladies and *crinkle loudly* and then I'm going to burn my bra! Ha--

6:41 AM  
Blogger Sparkmonkey said...

I *actually* saw an ad last night for, get this...aromotherapy mini-pads...yessiree bob, they have 'em with chamomile, lavander, and aloe vera scents.

9:28 AM  

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