Things that really "rip my biscuit"...

I would really like to know why it is that the woman in front of me at the grocery store, the one with the hefty aubuelita and snotty kid, the one with the, count 'em, SEVEN distinctly different WIC food stamp checks, has more and better food on the belt than I. I work hard. I have three part time jobs, have just started my own business as of last year and am raising 2 kids. Where's the beef?

I can't sit with my hands in my pockets and my mouth shut when someone "leaves" something in a cart in a store, like, say....Walmart, and then leaves with it knowing full well that the person checking them out did not see it, nor were they charged for it. That, kind readers, tweaks my bolts.

I want to know why it is that Dunkin Donuts can possibly hire so many idiots. I know there are many people out there who need jobs, but, come on, how hard is it to stock straws? Don't mess with my Smoothie. Really now. No. Straws. Anywhere.

And, speaking of no straws, how about Last Straw...Friendly's not having chocolate ice cream? How about Vanilla? Nope. Neither. Christ on a Criss Craft!

Let's re-visit the smoking practices of my neighbor. Let's remember how fond I am of her hourly stink-a-thon. She protects her baby from her smoke by going outside and smoking Right. Outside. My. Window. My cats practically choke on it. My plants in the window died, and I am reasonably sure it was the smoke, and had absolutely nothing to do with the lack of water or the music I was playing all week. See if I care if she coughs up a lung on her deck. I will get the hose and turn it on her, I will.

If you are going to have an answering machine, voicemail WHATEVA, do NOT set it at the Speed Of Light setting, which pretty much keeps me to "Ah, yeah, this is Julia, can you ple---" And, by no means whatsoever should you make your greeting sound SO REAL as to have me talk back to you for a few seconds before I grok that it isn't you. That isn't funny.

Never, ever, ever leave the bathroom with the complete knowledge that the toilet paper is gone.

And finally if you are a check out girl at Home Despot and you are on duty, DO NOT spend the entire time on the phone, speaking in spanish about what you want for dinner. I know enough spanish to tell you where to put said dinner.

'Nuff sed.