Monday, July 31, 2006

Can you hear me now?

I was really hungry. I had been standing in line at Verizon Wireless for about 30 years today. I was behind a woman and her mom and the woman's baby. The baby, well, she did not like granny so very much. No, the kissing thing, it wasn't gonna fly. Tears, spit and kicking ensued. Granny dealt with it. Sorta.

The Heidi I've-Got-A-Huge-Bug-Up-My-Ass was next. See, someone in the office, the one on the phone? so she told her that she couldn't add those extra text message minutes on after the bill and like, she got a huge bill and then, and then, and then she went off...

Janice, behind the desk? She already told all of us that it was Not A Good Day for Janice. But, we alraedy knew that onaccounta that nasty smirk, the one that looks like she just ate a piece of nasty cheese THINKING it was white chocolate, because, you know, she LUUUUVs her white chocolate. That just left a permanent stabby cramp in her face. It reads: Yeah, go ahead. Ask me. Just Try. I am going to call my kids on the phone now while you all wait for your liver spots to turn up.

My kids went to forage for some snacks. One can only expect so much from teens in a phone store once they have pushed all the buttons, salivated over the Razors and dicked around with the Trios. They got us three cups of Pretzel Time pretzels and 3 sodas. They came back about 15 years after they left, which was about 10 more years before we got to talk with Janice of the Perpetual Snit. We couldn't eat in the store, cause, you know, that just is not a good idea (unless it is white chocolate, then, Janice totally approves). So they took turns guarding it outside the store while I watched Janice pick her teeth, man handle some boxes (oour phones, our phones were in those boxes) then she pushed some paper around and waited until the veins in my neck were just about to pop before she called out: "Julia!"

Um, I have been standing in front of you for about 15 years now, give or take, and my drivers license is right in front of you with my name, and ah, eyah, that's me.

In the meantime, as my bloodsugar was rocketing down like a shuttle with a fubar O-ring, my kids wandered away from our victuals.

And, when we turned away....they were GONE.

12 bux of American Wheat Flour and sugar water were heisted. Double damn.

But, we got the new phones.

On the way home I I made myself laugh hysterically thinking about sending Janice a picture from my new camera phone....of my naked ass.

Oh, what a day.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Shameless Plug

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So, Dan and I designed a new logo for the foundation that we are starting up. The paperwork is in process, and we are currently writing grants left and right. It is amazing how things progress when you really put faith into it. With the momentum that is building we should be able to get support/funding/sponsorship for the rides scheduled for 2007, namely both sides of the continent of the US of A. England is beckoning again by phone for more PR and perhaps another trip. We are awaiting Her Majesty The Queen to don her gay apparel ( bike shorts) and get that arse up on a tandem er sumpin, in order that we may better serve the amputees of the UK. I told her we would pack arnica tablets. I know how hell-bent on homeopathics she is. Heck, I even told her Chuck could come, too. But, I think he is busy milking his organic cows in the hinterlands of Scotland. He is boring anyway. And, I cannot fathom him on a bike.

Anyway, the website is getting boosted up on a daily basis. Dan rises around 4 am because his brain is on fire, and the smoke keeps me awake. He settles down to the computer and futzes with html and pixels until it is time for work. Then he goes off and makes legs for people. Really cool legs. Some have computers in them. No keyboards, though, just widgets that make people walk again.

It looks like I am going to Oxford, England in October, as part of the foundation, to support Dan as a keynote speaker at a scientific convention. Never been to England.
Perhaps then I shall stop by for tea with Her Majesty and check out her bike.

Morning Acoutrements...

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I love making tea. I especially love making Lapsang Souchong. The smokey quality of it brings me right back to my childhood, when I would sip tea with my dad by the fire in the winter, eating popcorn, playing backgammon.

I love the ceremony of tea, even moreso than that of coffee. While I get high on the fumes of high test caffeine coffee, the brewing and pouring through the silver strainer, a gift from my mother, always bring me cheer. The little ceramic pitcher holds exactly one Julia sized cup. Making tea for myself reminds me to pamper Julia, to do nice things for her.

And, while I adore my Starbux mug, I adore it even more when it has tea in it. Something rather anti big business about that combination. A small kick in the ass, sure, but every little push against the Big Guy by virtue of supporting the Little Guy is a giant step ahead, in my book.

By the by, go visit Virtuous Teas at

And look over at for a very pleasant read whilst you sip your brew.

Monday, July 24, 2006

A talk was had...

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Yesterday, as I wandered about the mucky woods, I felt a pain in my toe. My big toe. My "honker" toe. I thought it was just some neurological thing; an overuse sort of thing. A complaint of sorts. I spoke with the toe. I told it how much I appreciated it. You know, I had already conversed with the poison-ivy, thanking it and telling it I was just passing through... (and, no itchies today!).

Upon returning home, a warm water wash with Bronner's peppermint soap and a foot massage in thanks was had. I was bestowing upon les pieds much amour. I walked a little lop-sided, avoiding the toe. It really *did* work hard in those wet and dank and smooshy woods. The toe? She was mad. She made me know that by issuing forth a pain. Like stepping on a tack, it was. Ow. I took off my sandals and rubbed the foot, the toe, the grief, she was palpable.

This morning as I examined my sandals to see if they were dry I noticed something.

A huge thorn stuck in my sandal. Yep. Right. Under. The Honker. Toe.


Well, I figure the toe liked all that conversation anyway. And, jeeze, the peppermint soap and lotion was downright debauchery.

The feets, they are smiling. The toe? She is happy.

Misty Morning Wanderings

I followed a path I'd not taken before. I negotiate with poison-ivy, talking to it, thanking it for doing it's poison-y best, and telling it I was just passing through. My shutter click disturbed many frogs, jumping into the algae green safety with loud "Dune" sounds. I saw a huge blue heron approach and land into the swamp. I went off track, off trail and smooshed though mud and climbed over dead trees to get closer to the water.

I had an amazing day.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Floating Above it All...

Yesterday was an extremely difficult day. Parenting teens is like 24 hour labor with no delivery in sight. Today, I rest above it all, opening my petals gently to the sun. I am tired. But it seems the storms have passed, for a while anyway. I am grateful for the colors and shapes that are gifted to me this day.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Cover Me...

I rather like the idea of parasols. I like the crinkle sound they make as you open them, the pleats so neat and tidy, the fancy designs and the sheer width of their coverage. Being a pale face I burn easily, and often wish that I had a parasol on hand. They are large though, and not easy to carry about, unless, of course, you are in a canoe, which I am not, most times. I think of strolling the Winterthur Gardens, or Kew Gardens, lazily admiring the iris and peonies, mint julep in hand. It is hot today, and muggy, and I am inside waiting for a new refrigerator. Air Conditioning is lovely and I am fortunate to have it. It keeps me sane.

But, if I could change things for today, I would be wandering around a garden in the sun, on a much cooler day, looking at lovely plants, or being paddled about a pond by a Beloved in a canoe.
Yes, that would suffice, just fine.